2 posts tagged “loneliness”

The truth exists inside us and only inside of us.  Once it is outside it is subject to interpretation, scrutiny, recapitulation and ultimate subjectivity.  We relate it to our selves to our scopes of reality and alter truths to meet our needs, necessity and reality.

Yes our own reality.  Granted perception is different for everyone.  Our perception is based on a series of experiences to which one is subjected.  No two people have been subjected to the exact same stimulus at the exact same stages and phases and time frame unless they are a test subject, then, you are a completely contrived ultimately unfortunate person.

Much like Herman Hesse's Steppenwolf, we are all mad men.  We all have a beast that exists within.  Whether the beast is savage or harmless, strange or common is shaped by the experiences of before.  The beast is formed by our perceptions.  No one understands you fully unless they understand the nature of the beast within you.

I have the equivalent of a duck billed platypus inside of me.

Have you ever met a duck billed platypus?  no?  Haven't seen any meandering through Target or walking their dog in the park?  Yeah, Neither have I.  Oh and how many people do you know that are experts on the platypus?  Me neither.  And what's the plural of platypus?  Platypuses.  Not Platypi.  Do you know why you didn't know that?  Because, I'll wager, If you've seen one, you're fortunate, if you've seen two, you're a freak, or a platypus eating crocodile.  Did you know that there is no word of a group of platypuses?  Like flock or herd or romp?  yep, they're solitary creatures.

Probably because they're weird.

Every now and then I will meet a person whom I believe has like a wallaby or a koala living in them.  I figure perhaps another creature from my ancestral bestial origins might understand the plight of the platypus.

But I think I am wrong.  The platypus is always a solitary animal.  Much like the wolf of the steppes.

::love::

Shatter.

I live in a world of neon pastels and sand.  Where apartment complexes back up to wild jungles and you can find seashells in your backyard.  Many find this land of turquoise water, white sand and margaritas paradise.

I want to say my own personal hell, but those words are harsh.  It's beautiful, sunshine,  beaches,  the wilderness,  It's full of mystery,  venomous creatures, gators, beautiful birds, greenery.  It's also vapid, vacuous, living in it's own reality of tourism and southern culture.  Oranges and country music.  Delicious strawberries (They might even be better than those in California) and Caribbean cuisine really can't cancel out the massive gift shops with smiling magicians and enormous animals with light up eyes sprouting from the roof.  To many this kitsch is charming, much like that in  Chinatown or fisherman's wharf, but the ominous beast of consumerism and promoted naivety looms large.  The culture of non-culture is so prevalent in this paradise, homogeneity is always rewarded and the slings and arrows are endured by the unique.

Feeling alone in millions is a familiar concept to many, (I mean look at poor Eleanor Rigby), but to live in a world where everyone one is here on a limited time basis, is challenging.  I am comfortable alone, for days, but without a comiserant, someone who understands your context, truly and deeply the values of you, being alone transitions into being lonely, for you are lone.

Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.
-Carl Gustav Jung